Period

Game over..period here..

Well thats it for me - definitely no more treatment, I'm not going to the clinic for my after appointment - I see no point for them to tell me what I already know.

DPO13....

6.30pm.... brown spotting....

DPO11&12 : Negatives

I took an Early reponse test last night and this morning (Buy one (double pack) get one free)

Bother very obvious negatives, not even a slight glimmer of a positive...

Its meant to be 78% accuarate at this stage....

Really don't feel pregnant.

DPO11

Still hanging around - No symptoms.

Feeling really down and fed up - Work hard going and life just seems so boring.. at the moment I'm getting in from work, talking to myself and then going to bed - Finding it very difficult to motivate myself in any way at all.. oh well...and yet another 6 days to wait.. unless of couse AF arrives first like it probably will..

So I'm DPO11 today - just been checking my previous chart, IVF3 and I got spotting on DPO13 and AF arrived the next day.. so technically what would have been DPO14..

DPO14 is Friday....my test date Monday 17th.

Just hanging around

Well...nothing exciting happening here...

Feel ok - Been very lazy which I suppose I have an excuse for!! Finding remembering the cyclogest is difficult.. so I try to do when I get up and when I walk through the door at home time.

Feelnig bloated still, also slightly pain in stomach along bikini line...I'm assuming this is from the Egg collection last Friday and will go... its not that bad - more tender when I push it lol so msut stop pushing!!!

Right better do some work.

Embryo Grading

There was me feeling all confident and that the grading was good.. when actually.. grade.1. is bad!! The higher the grade the better..doh... and then I read even more conflicting information!!!How does the grading work? :( I am so totally confused...oh well nothing I can do!!

IVF4 : Embryo Transfer

Well today was the day.

Tubes were up the creak so it took me a while getting across to LWC, I nearly decided to walk but in the end gave in and took the Circle line to Great Portland Street. Drank the water as required.. and of course then started to want the loo!

Sat around the waiting room for a while, the good sign was that they got me to put on the gown...bad sign for me was that they kept me waiting and was desperate for wee! Even better sign was when I had to sign the declaration to say I was aware of the risks of multiple Birth with 3 embryos being put back.

So when I finally went down i had to go to the loo and count to 10... managed to keep enough in still!

Embryologist came out to see me, of the 5 that fertilised 2 had arrested so only 3 had carried on dividing - Good news thoguh as better quality than my previous attempt:
1 x 7 cell, grade.1.
2 x 6 cell, grade.2.

I never asked how many cells it should be at but from my previous postings I thought around 8 , however even 4 cell embryos on day.3. have ended up in pregnancies.

So here I am waiting around again....in the office... test date 17th November.

IVF4 : Tomorrow

So...

I had the Egg Collection about 9.45am Friday - 48 hours after (day.2.) they would expect a 4 cell embryo and 72 hours later (day.3.) a 8 cell embryo - so in theory by 9.45am ish tomorrow 8 cells - I'm assuming that as it takes a while to do the ICSI they give it a little bit extra time hence the appointment at 11am.

Day 3 (8-cell) Embryo

Well I'm hoping that this cycle my fertilized eggs divide quicker than last time - It not until you've been through it that you realise that you are always hoping for that next step...if it hasn't divided well tomorrow then that in itself makes you realise the chances are slim..

Day 2 (4-cell) Embryo

Human embryos are usually at the 4 cell stage at some point on day 2 - So hopefully this is what is happening with my embryos this time!

Day 1 (2-cell) Embryo

This is a normal 2-cell embryo - which I think should have been yesterday...

IVF4 : Egg Fertilisation

Not a good night sleep, stomach pains from the egg retrieval -probab;ly because there were more follicles.

Phone call at 9.30am

Out of the 8 mature eggs, 5 eggs fertilized.

My appointment for egg transfer is 11am on Monday.

I hope that this time round they divide quicker...

IVF4 : Donor Details

Donor Characteristics
Ethnic Group Caucasian – Hungarian
Blood Group O Positive
Eye Colour- Green
Hair Colour- Brown
Height 1.73m
Build - Slim
Skin colour - Fair/Medium
Religion- None
Occupation - Engineer and Land Surveyor
Education - Degree
Interests - Extreme sport, judo, open water diving, flying

This is actually the same donor as I had for IVF3, so I will just have to hope that he is ok!

IVF4 : Egg Collection

I seem to know exactly what I'm doing with this the days! well though I had 21 follicles they only collected 12 eggs - I was slightly disappointed though not surprised as a lot of them were smaller... I had a call in the afternoon to confirm that from the 12 8 were mature and that they would do ICSI on them.

Photo : About to inject the egg with a spermHolding pipette on left ICSI needle on right Sperm head visible in needle at far right, just below XPolar body of egg at 7 o'clock

IVF4 : Last scan Results 29/10/08

IVF3 Status of my Ovaries:
Left ovary, 3 large follicles (21mm), 1 small follicle (17mm)
Right Ovary, 4 large follicles (21mm), 1 small follicle (17mm)
Resulted on 10 eggs being collected, 7 mature

IVF4
Left Ovary, 11 follicles (1x20mm), but as small as 11mm
Right Ovary, 10 follicles (1x19mm) but as small as 11mm
Potential of 21 Eggs.. though concerned that they are still quite small against last time.

CD12 - W- 29th Oct - Scan 8.30am - 350iu Puregon, 150iu Menopur, Orgalutran, 8pm Pregnyl @10pm.


Egg Collection on 31st October - Hoping that my follicles will have grown just that bit more..I will just have to hope that some of the smaller follicles don't just contain immature eggs...always somethign to worry about!!

Friday 31st October - Appointment at clinic, 8.30am - Collection at 10am.

Scan picture to follow however problems with home PC - Power cable broken

IVF4 : Last Scan info for IVF1,2,3....

IVF1 - Last scan 5 follicles, collected 5, 2 fertilized abnormally
IVF2 - Last scan 8 follicles, collected 7, only 2 mature - only 1 fertilized, 1 Embryo Transfer (ICSI)
IVF3 - Last scan 9 follicles, collected 10 - 8 mature, 5 fertilized, 3 Embryo Transfer, other 2 not good enough quality to freeze (ICSI)

IVF3 Status of my Ovaries:
Left ovary, 3 large follicles (21mm), 1 small follicle (17mm)
Right Ovary, 4 large follicles (21mm), 1 small follicle (17mm)

IVF - Last scan ?? follicles (ICSI) - Well must keep positive - Its looking good so far - They just need to keep growing

IVF4 : 3rd Follicle Scan

Well.. some good news.. thought this is not my last scan, another booked in for Wednesday, best results I've had from cycles so far... 18 altogether!! Though they still have to do some growing (hence extra scan on Wednesday)

CD10 - Left ovary, 9 follicles, but 5 less than 10mm. Right ovary 9 follicles, but 1 less than 10mm - all the others (12) were between 11mm-15mm - injections - puregon 350iu, menopur 150iu and Orgalutran (pre-filled injection)
CD11 - T- 28th Oct - puregon 350iu, menopur 150iu and Orgalutran (pre-filled injection)
CD12 - W- 29th Oct - Scan (if ready) - assume 6.30pm Orgalutran, 9.30pm Pregnyl
CD13 - T - 30th Oct - No injections (if last scan 30/10)
CD14 - F - 31st Oct - Clinic 8.30am,(if last scan 30/10) Egg Retrieval 9.30am start cyclogest.
CD15 - S - 1st Nov - (if last scan 30/10) 3 or less embryo - Transfer
CD16 - S - 2nd Nov -(if last scan 30/10) Wait...
CD17 - M- 3rd Nov - (if last scan 30/10) 3 or more, best Embryo transfer

I am sat here trying to drink water!!!

IVF4 : My week Ahead

Well... I've drunk lots.. and still need to drink some more...well it feels like I've drunk lots!!

Lazy day but popped out this evening to see my friend Alison and my god children.

My belly is rather bruised after all the injections..

This weeks plan of Action:
CD10 - M - 27th Oct - SCAN AT 8.30am, find out whether last scan...
CD11 - T- 28th Oct - ?
CD12 - W- 29th Oct - ?
CD13 - T - 30th Oct - ?
CD14 - F - 31st Oct - ?

At some point this week I'll have my Egg collection... just not certain when the transfer will be - will know better tomorrow...

IVF4 : CD7....2nd Scan

IVF1 - CD12- Left ovary, none. Right ovary 3 follies around 11-12mm

IVF2 - CD7 - Left ovary, 2 follicles started. Right ovary 7 follicles started.

IVF3 - CD9 - Left ovary, 4 follicles started, Right ovary 3 follicles started.

IVF4 - CD7 - Left ovary 4 started (only small) plus 1x12mm Right ovary 4 small.. I don't feel very positive

Medication changed, puregon increased to 350iu and to carry on with 150iu menopur...also have to start Orgalutran (which I will have to do when I get home tonight, my other drugs are in my bag as going for something to eat with a friend after work)

Donor Eggs

I spoke to the nurse about going on the waiting list for donor eggs - she thought I was already on it but has made certain that I am - If I were to do donor eggs she also suggested donor embryos - which of course is an option at I'm doing donor sperm.....

The good news is that no quick decisions to be made - They are willing to treat with donor eggs up to 50 and after that have to speak to the ethic committee - Well my deadline would be 45 any way..

Oh and of course - Well if IVF4 works I don't even have to think about this!

So.. 2 injections starting tonight....

IVF4 : Previous First Scans after started drugs

IVF1 - CD12- Left ovary, none. Right ovary 3 follies around 11-12mm.
IVF2 - CD7 - Left ovary, 2 follicles started. Right ovary 7 follicles started.
IVF3 - CD9 - Left ovary, 4 follicles started, Right ovary 3 follicles started.

IVF4 - CD7 - Left ovary ??? Right ovary ???

IVF4 : First Appointment

Well had my appointment this morning, have rung Boots and prescription is on way, most being delivered tomorrow....

Just a quick update on my plan:
CD3 - M - 20th Oct - Scan. Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu
CD4 - T - 21st Oct - Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu
CD5 - W - 22nd Oct - Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu
CD6 - T - 23rd Oct - Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu
CD7 - F - 24th Oct -SCAN AT 8.30am, Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu, Orgalutran
CD8 - S - 25th Oct -Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu, Orgalutran
CD9 - S - 26th Oct - Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu, Orgalutran
CD10 - M - 27th Oct - SCAN AT 8.30am, re-assess status of drugs!! Could be last scan if same as last cycle, last 2 injections, 6.30pm Orgalutran, 9.30pm Pregnyl
CD11 - T- 28th Oct - No injections
CD12 - W- 29th Oct - Egg Collection?
CD13 - T - 30th Oct - ET if only 1 embryo
CD14 - F - 31st Oct - ET if 3 embryos
CD15 - S- 1st Nov - Waiting 1
.
.
CD28 - S - 15th Nov - Waiting 14 DAY THAT PERIOD ARRIVED LAST CYCLE

IVF4: Decision Made

Well.. looks like I'm set for another cycle.

Straight to clinic tomorrow though they won't like me just turning up - I did ring today but no answer and though I left a message no-one rang me back...

Have emailed Boots regarding the prescription. - Hopefully they'd get it out prompt tomorrow. I already have Puregon for tomorrow night and some Menopur - just realised that the Menopur is missing from the prescription.

Not going to tell anyone what I'm doing and being picked up from clinic next week might be difficult as colleague who helped last time will be away. Will resort back to previous helper if he's not on hols as well (Half term) lol. If not... humm.. there will be someone else that can help just not certain who just yet...

So here we go - but if like last time should be pretty quick.

This will be my last attempt with my own eggs - If there were to be another time it would have to be donor eggs which I don't want - saying that I'm going to ask for the donor egg forms, fill them in and return then it keeps my options open...

IVF4: How It would work if I did...

Will I or won't I? Decision tim 15-20% chance with my own eggs....

CD1 - Saturday - 18th October
CD2 - S - 19th Oct - Rang Clinic and left message
CD3 - M - 20th Oct - Clinic??? Scan?? Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu
CD4 - T - 21st Oct - Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu
CD5 - W - 22nd Oct - Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu
CD6 - T - 23rd Oct - Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu
CD7 - F - 24th Oct -Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu, Orgalutran
CD8 - S - 25th Oct -Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu, Orgalutran
CD9 - S - 26th Oct - Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu, Orgalutran
CD10 - M - 27th Oct - Scan, re-assess status of drugs!! Could be last scan if same as last cycle, last 2 injections, 6.30pm Orgalutran, 9.30pm Pregnyl
CD11 - T- 28th Oct - No injections
CD12 - W- 29th Oct - Egg Collection?
CD13 - T - 30th Oct - ET if only 1 embryo
CD14 - F - 31st Oct - ET if 3 embryos
CD15 - S- 1st Nov - Waiting 1
CD16 - S - 3rd Nov - Waiting 2
CD17 - S - 4th Nov - Waiting 3
CD18 - S - 5th Nov - Waiting 4
CD19 - S - 6th Nov - Waiting 5
CD20 - S - 7th Nov - Waiting 6
CD21 - S - 8th Nov - Waiting 7
CD22 - S - 9th Nov - Waiting 8
CD23 - S - 10th Nov - Waiting 9
CD24 - S - 11th Nov - Waiting 10
CD25 - S - 12th Nov - Waiting 11
CD26 - S - 13th Nov - Waiting 12
CD27 - S - 14th Nov - Waiting 13
CD28 - S - 15th Nov - Waiting 14 DAY THAT PERIOD ARRIVED LAST CYCLE

Period

Yep - Period here - Life is just not good.

Friend at work has been very supportive, my way of thanks was to give them lots of shit - Poor guy.. been very good.. also good at handing out advice!! I should probably listen.

So..how come I've already decided to go on for another try - I must just be glutton for punishment - Of course the clinic may not let me - will have to wait and see after had appointment with doctor.

Will also book acpuncture appointments and might take a week off after Egg transfer..

All About Me

So.. 41..

Shit at relationships...

Can't have children..

No body loves me .. ok I know friends, mum and dad - But its not the same..

I know I have my health, I know I have good friends.. yes there are lots worse off than me - but at the moment I don't care about any of that I care about me - And I'm not happy... and on top of that work just doesn't help... and to be honest I don't see what the point to my life is - surely you should have meaning in your life?

So what now? I might run away..lol..well thats what Niki will call it - I might start to investigate contracting abroad, see where the work takes me.. there is nothing to hold me here.. and the only things that could.. well.. I can't have..run away from all responsbilities..

So Fed Up...

... really really fed up...I suppose though I didn't fully admit it I really thought that it would work this time... expecially with egg collection on the 080808 -Silly I know... it was also my mums Birthday..just thought..doh...

I have to carry on using the progestrone until Monday when its my official test date, even with AF here I have to test Monday. I then ring clinic to say unsuccessful, there is a form I have to fill in, my assumption is that though this cycle has been much more successful than previous that they will advise me to give up with my own eggs. I am not going to do donor eggs, it just doesn't feel right to me - If I'd have had a partner so it was his sperm I think I would have considered it as it would have been part of us. I think my alternate would be to find out about adopting an older childer - again a route I would not consider until I was 45..so.. presume would go to the clinic for appointment sometime next week..possibly the next..so there you are....

Its just too soon to think about anything...my whole life is crap.

Spotting :(

Well... gave in an tested this morning though already know it would be negative..the only slightly positive thing was that I'm only DPO13 and the test should have been done from day period due so really Saturday!!

Any way.. put some panty liners n bag as off to Crewe for day - Went to loo about 1pm, had stomach ache - Bright red spot..thoughout rest of day more blood but at present not enough to call AF - when wipe brown..

So home on train from Crewe really difficult..very down... always thought I'd have children.. or at least a child.. now that it..I was stood on the platform at Wolverhampton thinking that maybe they'd let me have a 4th attempt.. but I dont know whether that is really a sensible idea... I know that this is AF.. I don't want to think it'll go away..no point in false hope.

Waiting game...

Well I'm DPO12 -decided ovulation was obviously day eggs collected! :)

Low twinges...slight pink on loo roll..bit of poking I shouldn't have done!! Headache..tired..but thats from too many late nights/early mornings...

...and counting...

Well I'm either 10 or 11 DPO, I'm not quite certain whether I count the days after ovulation as the day of retrieval or the day after, its presently set to the day after!! So.. saying that it is 10 DPO same as my cycle in January.. I had spotting on DPO10 last time.. at present nothing...apart from being bloated.. and I think water retention in my hands.. how do I know? My ring that normally fits easily on my middle right hand finger hasn't got a hope of going on at the moment - so its on my finger closest to my little one... was tempted to buy a test today - good job I'm tight!! Only one in Waitross was £10 and decided it would be a waste of money...lol.. so just carry on waiting..

IVF3: Embryo Transfer

Well.... tubes (as in underground!!) were a nightmare today!!

Left office at 10.45am, got there at 11:25am... drank nearly a litre of watre from 10:30 to then... and did my usual..drank too much!! Think went in for transfer about 11:45. Had to go and do a wee not only once but twice lol wasn't allowed to let it all out then I was scared I wouldn't stop!

So...3 embies on-board.

Not best divides, and the 1x6 cell was a slow divider - The other 2 were both 4 cells... had to sign all the forms abut multiple births!! The other 2 embies were not good enough quality to freeze..

So thats it until the 25th August (test day) unless AF arrives before then..and even then have to test on 25th...

A lot further forward than previous cycles....lets wait and see...

IVF3: Good Egg News

Phone call at 8.50am.. funny how the later the time got on the more I started to think, well there is always the chance that none fertilized - But looks like I was worrying for nothing.. 5 eggs fertilized. My estimate last night was a 50% success rate.. so that would have meant 3-4 - so 5 is great!!

My appointment is for 11:30am on Monday.... at which point 3 should be on-board...

IVF3: Egg Maturity

The clinic has just rung, out of the 10 eggs collected 7 were mature!! OMG... that is good news.

They have therefore fertilised these eggs using ICSI and I have to wait until tomorrow morning for the success rate.... it sounded like, from the call, that they won't be expecting me in tomorrow and more likely to be Monday!! Wow....

IVF3: Egg Collection

Appointment at clinic, 8.30am - Collection at 9.30am.

All well so far, they actually collected 10 eggs rather than the expected max of 8 (5 from each ovary) but no indication of maturity at this stage.

One of the clinic came and spoke to me about the donor and said that he is a really nice guy and very intelligent...so that is good news. She said that often they go on gut feeling with the donors and that they really make no money from it. Often they are guys that do it for person reasons, for instance known family member have had fertility problems or wives have used donor eggs.

So all I can do now is waiting for the call at 8am tomorrow morning, then a trip up to London or wait for an appointment on Monday....


IVF1: 5 collected, no normal fertilisations
IVF2: 7 collected, 2 mature (ICSI), 1 fertilisation
IVF3: 10 collected, 7 mature (ICSI), fertilisation??

IVF3: Donor Details

So... recieved the donor details after appointment - only one option presently given to me:

Ethnic Group - Caucasian – Hungarian
Blood Group - O Positive
Eye Colour - Green
Hair Colour - Brown
Height - 1.73m
Build - Slim
Skin colour - Fair/Medium
Religion - None
Occupation - Engineer and Land Surveyor
Education - Degree
Interests - Extreme sport, judo, open water diving, flying
Donors Pen Sketch (can be given to the mother once a baby has been born as a result of using this donor sperm) - No
Proven fertility - No


So what does a Hungarian person look like???

IVF3: Second Scan

Well they were running late at the clinic today...

Went in..asked for a photo..she forgot..damn..even more damn as last scan!!

So...

CD11 - W- 6th Aug - Scan 9.15am - I'm cooked lol, 6.30pm Orgalutran, 9.30pm Pregnyl
CD12 - T- 7th Aug - No injections
CD13 - F- 8th Aug - Clinic 8.30am, Egg Retrieval 9.30am start cyclogest..
CD14 - S- 9th Aug - 8.00 - 8.30am, Call from Clinic - 3 or less Embryo Transfer
CD15 - S- 10th Aug -
CD16 - M - 11th Aug - 3 or more, best Embryo transfer (IVF2 - Egg Retrieval)
CD17 - T- 12th Aug - (IVF2 - Egg Transfer) (IVF1 - Egg Retrieval)

Status of my Ovaries:
Left ovary, 3 large follicles (21mm), 1 small follicle (17mm)
Right Ovary, 4 large follicles (21mm), 1 small follicle (17mm)

IVF1 - Last scan 5 follicles, collected 5, 2 fertilzed abnormally
IVF2 - Last scan 8 follicles, collected 7, only 2 mature - only 1 fertilized
IVF3 - Last scan 9 follicles (including the 2 small ones..)

Statistics for second follicle Scan

IVF1: 3 follicles..but only 1 of 3 had grown..
IVF2: 9 follicles...

IVF3 : 6th August @9.15am....

Been thinking....

Not certain whether my scan today was any better than last time now Last time 9 follicles - This time only 7 just a bit more balanced between my ovaries - They were bigger than before..no point in worrying I suppose..wait and see what happens on Wednesday..wish there were more..

IVF1 & IVF2 - First Scan After started injections

I thought I'd collect this data ready for a comparison on Monday..

First Scans
IVF1 - CD12- Left ovary, none. Right ovary 3 follies around 11-12mm.
IVF2 - CD7 - Left ovary, 2 follicles started. Right ovary 7 follicles started.
IVF3 - CD9 ?

Clinic Bill / Drugs to start

Clinic
IVF - Single Cycle £2750.00 (same as last cycle)
HFEA FEE - IVF £104.50 (same as last cycle)
Donor Sperm & Prep - £550.00 (gne up £150)
ICSI - £500
Total £3904.50

Drugs
1. Puregon 300i.u. injection Qty:7 £797.18
2. Menopur 75i.u. injection Qty:20 £327.60
3. Orgalutran 0.25 injections Qty:7 £187.48
4. Cyclogest 400mg Pessaries box of 15 Qty:3 £38.88
Total £1351.14

Third and Final IVF with ICSI

CD1 - Sunday - 27th July
CD2 - M - 28th July - Went to appointment at clinic on Monday, 8am

Had scan, all ok and ready to go.

Here is the plan of action so far:

CD3 - T - 29th July - Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu
CD4 - W - 30th July - Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu
CD5 - T - 31st July - Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu
CD6 - F - 1st Aug - Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu
CD7 - S - 2nd Aug -Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu, Orgalutran
CD8 - S - 3rd Aug -Puregon, 300iu, Menopur, 150iu, Orgalutran
CD9 - M - 4th Aug - Scan, re-assess status of drugs!! Drugs..
CD10 - T - 5th Aug -
CD11 - W- 6th Aug - SCAN?
CD12 - T- 7th Aug -
CD13 - F- 8th Aug - SCAN?
CD14 - S- 9th Aug -
CD15 - S- 10th Aug -
CD16 - M - 11th Aug - SCAN? (IVF2 - Egg Retrieval)
CD17 - T- 12th Aug - (IVF2 - Egg Transfer) (IVF1 - Egg Retrieval)

What is MENOPUR®?

MENOPUR® is a highly purified mixture of human follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) and luteinizing hormone (LH) activity, the most important hormones for inducing the growth of the follicles that produce ova (eggs). As a human menopausal gonadotropin (hMG), MENOPUR® is classified as a “menotropin.” Menotropins—injectable hormones that control the reproductive function—are one of the most widely used types of infertility medication. MENOPUR® has undergone additional steps for purification. This state-of-the-art purification process results in fewer injection site reactions and less discomfort for the patient.

AF Arrived...

Thank goodness for that.. AF arrived today, so I'm assuming tht I just go straight in to the clinic tomorrow morning... fly to Scotland tomorrow night so can't risk not get the scan done for this cycle...they have to just send me away again if its a problem.

Yet another delay...

Well... I was already to start treatment when AF arrived this month -all my drugs have been purchased from Boots and sat on the Microwave! Then it went and messed it all up.. Arrived on Monday afternoon, just as I was to travel to Derby for a training course...which meant could no hae gone for first scan until CD5 - as on short protocol I had to have my scan on CD2-3 latest.. so have had to write the month off... really disappointed as just wanted to get it done and dusted..move on with my life either way...

IVF Update

Well... holidays have got in the way.

I will be starting my last course of IVF after my holiday to Corfu. Injections / scan etc don't seem to fit in well with holidays and my work training courses. I know that IVF is more important but well...it just wasn't working out very well and maybe I had to think about things.

As for egg share - I never filled in the form and never sent it back. I'm not certain its what I want to do. I will take the form with me when I re-start IVF.

I worry that I'm too old that its not fair on the child..maybe I'm too selfish...maybeit was not meant to be... so... there you are...

AF Here..

Well AF here but I have decided not to do IVF this cycle.

There are several reasons - Mostly relating to my holiday. I know I shouldn't be delaying but..may it would do me good.

If I do it this cycle EC and ET will be very very close to me going to Las Vegas - possibly too close as they want me to wait a bit longer before EC. Once I get to LV I wouldn't be allowed to go swimming, in the jacuzzi, rollercoasters, drink...oh and my stomach will look like a patchwork quilt after over 2 weeks of injections twice nightly...

Next problem is that AF will be due in middle of holiday so that wipes out April Cycle..so it must be May...me and my holidays...lol..this means I won't be able to swim and drink on my June holiday...but I don't think I should much more than May....humm..difficult...

Doctor Appointment

Well had my follow-up appointment today.

I like the doctor that I see, Dr Geetha Venkat.

So - Good that I had 1 fertilised embryo - Bad that only 2 mature eggs. Next time they will wait longer before collecting my eggs (though the follicle size should have been ok).

So as of now - Plan of Action - IVF3. short Protocol, however slightly different protocol wth drugs. GnRh ANTAGONIST - (ORGALUTRAN)

350iu Puregon
75iu Menopur

Around these figures...so combined slightly higher dosage than before. Menopur might make my follicles react differently.

The doctor is very keen for me to have 3 embryos transferred and we had quite a long chat. I had to discuss my Las Vegas trip and my worries about flying.

So..when..? that depends on when AF arrives next - Sort of causing myself problems by going on holiday..that might delay it even more - I could cancel Las Vegas but I really feel it would do me good to get away from everything for that week - I know IVF is more important but with everything going on at work, I really do need the break.

As for being realistic- So ok I am paying the clinic, however I don't believe that they would encourage me if no chance of working - They only want good statistics after all!

Donor Eggs - There is a 6-9 months waiting list for donor eggs. So I'm looking at putting myself on it. It is not the way I want to go but at least by being on the waiting list I keep my options open. I think that one of the larger issues may well be money by that stage!

Oh and.. I told my mum at the weekend. I suppose she couldn't take it in. She never said much about it at all.....

Period

Well that is it - No more wondering. Period here. Done and dusted. Have not yet rung the clinic. Will do this later this week....

Actually feeling ok about it all - I think it is easier this time because it was more expected. I'd not felt pregnant...felt very normal.. I don't need to be told that you don't always get symptoms it doesn't necessarily mean anything - I really did know I wasn't.

Tuesday and the weeks dragging

Well...after spot on Sunday nothing happened until today..late afternoon...again possibly TMI...brown spotting..bit of red (tiny)...as you normally do when AF arriving kept going back and forth to the loo to check lol.

Went out with a friend for food, then home for 11pm. Visits to the loo showed no more spotting and no proper period though I keep feeling like its here..I wonder what the morning will bring... now off to sleep.

Sunny Sunday

Well it was a sunny day. Cold but sunny. Went for a walk along the canal from Cambridge Lane to Victoria Park, then had a quick cuppa at Nikis.

When I got back to my house I went to the bathroom - I had bright red blood when I wiped (sorry if TMI). I've occasionally had spotting 2 days before my period is due - So now I don't know whether it is a good sign (implantation, but possibly bit late) or just a way of telling me my period is just round the corner...I lean towards the latter unfortunately...I'll know either way within the next 6 days...

1 More Week to go....

Well..time is crawling by!

It is now 9 days since ET. Nothing major happening - hassle at work usual stuff!

No signs nothing, feeling very un-pregnant! :( trying to keep positive but most of the time ignoring that I've even done anything odd this month!

I managed it!! 1 Egg Fertilised!

Yeah...I know its still a long way to go but hey this is further than last cycle. Phone call 8.40am. I had 1 fertilised egg!! Couldn't believe it. So...drank water (have to have full bladder for embryo transfer).. 0.5 litre then 0.33 litre when I got to the clinic. Still didn't feel like weeing...they said wait 10 mins...then nurse gave me a cup of tea to help... there was another woman awaiting her transfer..she went in...and was far longer than I expected! I was desperate to wee. So...they took me in and scan me and my bladder was TOO full..so...had to go to loo..wee...but stop..managed it but thought I'd relieved myself too much...went back in...it was fine still plenty there!!

So - They did my embryo transfer - 1 embryo on board - Just have to hope that it sticks - Test date 16th February. As from last night doing 2 pessaries each day (morning / evening)

Photo:

Big black area - Full bladder

Area under bladder -Womb

Faint little white line, fluid containing embryo - It's too small to see! :)

Nurse advised me - No lifting, no baths, no swimming.. eat as if pregnant...

Factors resulting in poor egg quality or maturity

Determining the factors resulting in poor egg quality or maturity is difficult. Let's look first at what maturity means, and then at what might go wrong.All the eggs you will ever have were formed before you were even born, halfway through your mother's pregnancy. The eggs all started out with 46 chromosomes. But since we need just 23 chromosomes from the sperm and 23 from the egg, an egg must get rid of the extra 23 chromosomes, in a process called meiosis. Meiosis of all your eggs began while you were in your mother's uterus, but was not completed. The process was arrested, to resume in an egg after it receives a signal from your body's LH surge or the administration of hCG just prior to ovulation. For egg retrieval, hCG is administered approximately 36 hours before egg retrieval. It is the resumption of meiosis in response to that signal that determines egg maturity.
Unfortunately not all eggs receive the message and resume meiosis appropriately. Why? We don't really know. Possible factors include blood supply to the ovarian follicle in which the egg develops, hormone levels in the follicular fluid, the function of the hormone receptors on the egg, LH levels in the early follicular phase, the presence of normal egg chromosomes, ovulation medication schedules, and laboratory culture conditions. Much research is going on to determine the most important factors and to develop a culture environment that best supports maturation of the immature egg.

This is just so Shit

They did ICSI. Only 2 of my eggs were mature. They hope that both fertilise over night. They are warning me that there is a possibility that neither will fertilise. IF either of them do fertilise I go back in tomorrow for them to be put back....why is this all so crap.

Success Rates of Micro-Assisted Fertilization/ICSI

Not all eggs that are recovered from the woman are suitable for sperm injection, although this is usually a very small proportion. About 10% of eggs injected with sperm do not survive the injection procedure, and become damaged. Of those eggs that are injected, about 50-60% should fertilise, but only about 40% of injected eggs will fertilise normally and develop into embryos that are suitable for replacement into the uterus or, if the couple wish it, freezing and storage.
As with conventional IVF, the majority of couples attempting ICSI should get to the stage of embryo replacement, and about 30% of couples will get a positive pregnancy test. Unfortunately, about 25% of pregnancies are lost very early on. Thus, the chance of a clinically recognised pregnancy following a single cycle is about 30%, or one three. In other words, a single treatment cycle has a greater chance of failure than success, and it is important that couples embarking on such treatment should have realistic expectations.

As with all techniques of assisted conception, the results are very much influenced by the age of the woman. Success rates in women over 40 are well below as 10% per attempt, even in experienced centres. The graph above shows the effect of age on success rates in the whole of the UK, and is taken from the HFEA’s data for 2002-03.

Outcomes of Pregnancy Achieved With ICSI
What are the risks of ICSI treatment? ICSI is an invasive technique and may result in the use of sperm that would not otherwise be able to fertilise an egg. For these reasons, concerns about the potential risks to children born as a result of ICSI have been raised, and several follow-up studies have been published. ICSI is still a relatively new technique, and all children conceived using ICSI are still very young. Consequently, these follow-up studies involve relatively small numbers of children and do not include effects that may only be seen in older children or in the next generation. Clearly, more studies are needed, but the use of ICSI has been potentially linked with certain genetic and developmental defects as explained below.

What is ICSI and the Implications

Note: Not taken from my clinic website



ICSI, short for intracytoplasmic sperm injection, is the direct microinjection of a single sperm into a single egg in order to achieve fertilization. It was originally developed in 1992 to assist fertilization in couples with severe male factor infertility.

Who Should Consider ICSI?

• Previous poor fertilization with IVF
• Decreased number of eggs for fertilization
• Variable sperm count
• Unexplained infertility
• Many patients choose to undergo the ICSI procedure in order to maximize their success even when the procedure may not be necessary.

What are the risks associated with ICSI?
There are several risks. First, during the ICSI procedure, a small number of eggs -- usually less than 5 percent -- can be damaged as a result of the needle insertion. Second, the overall risk of having a baby with a chromosomal abnormality in the X or Y chromosomes is 0.8 percent, or eight per 1000, which is four times the average seen with spontaneous conception. At present, we do not know the reason for this increased risk. It is important to understand that the following problems can be associated with sex chromosome abnormalities:

• Increased risk of miscarriage
• Heart problems for affected infants that may require surgery
• Increased risk of behavior or learning disabilities
• Increased risk of infertility in your children during their adulthood
• The risk of having a chromosomal abnormality like Down's syndrome is not increased with ICSI but increases with maternal age.
• Several studies that have addressed the issue of developmental delays in children born of ICSI. However, there is no conclusive evidence that this is the case.

Will all of our eggs be injected?
If you decide to proceed with ICSI, we will make every effort to inject as many eggs as possible. It is important for you to understand that only eggs that are mature can be injected with sperm. IVF laboratories can easily tell if an egg is mature or immature. Although the immature eggs are incubated with sperm, the likelihood of fertilization is very low. On average, we are able to inject 75 percent to 80 percent of the eggs that are recovered.

Are there differences in embryo quality or pregnancy rates between ICSI and non-ICSI embryos?
There appears to be no difference in the overall embryo quality achieved with ICSI embryos when compared to non-ICSI embryos. Similarly, no difference in pregnancy rates has been shown between ICSI embryos and non-ICSI embryos. Although unproven, there is a belief among many infertility specialists that ICSI may increase embryo yield from a given number of eggs recovered, which has contributed to the increase in ICSI procedures.

Egg Collection

Well this seems to have gone well so far. They managed to collect 7 eggs. Back home 12.10. Feel ok in fact could have gone to work! Will take it easy this afternoon and migh be catching up with my next door neighbour, Becky.

I asked them how mature they looked. They said several of them looked good (mature) but a couple were dark (possibly not mature/abnormal). Discussed whether it should be IVF or ICSI - Think that they will go along the route of ICSI though there is the risk of damaging the egg as they have to remove the outer layer of the egg an just inject 1 sperm into each. Think they would inject a sperm into all 7 eggs even if a couple look not so good. Think they might be calling me this afternoon to confirm what they have decided but not certain... if not I get a phone tomorrow morning...

Egg Collection tomorrow

Well..nearly there yet again...most people worry about the 2 week wait..me..I worry that I get a phone call Thursday telling me its not worked again...I suppose first hurdle is hoping they actually get some eggs tomorrow...I really hope that they do...

IVF2 : Last Scan before Egg Collection

Last scan - Everything looking good so far - 8 follicles so hoping that 8 good quality eggs..in fact as long as at least 1 I'll be happy - ok ok yes I'd prefer 3 so that maximum chance of success but after last cycle...pleased that the lady doing the scan did the photo - I never actually asked so was really pleased when she did it, I thought I was being a bit cheeky asking again!

Have to be at the clinic early on Wednesday, so early night tomorrow. They will ring me Thursday to say how things have gone. Then hopefully either back to clinic on Thursday or if really successful Saturday. Fingers crossed that i do have to go back one of these days for the embryos to be replaced.

Spent another £50 - This time on 1xOrgalutran, injection a little later than planned 6.50pm, then Pregnyl - to be done at 9pm. Going to Carolines house, my own personal nurse x

IVF2 : This weeks plan of Action

Monday - Appointment at 8.45am for last scan - As long as this goes well will be taking Pregnyl this evening to trigger ovulation.
Wednesday - Early train for Egg Collection. Still to arrange whose picking me up, my last pick up person won' be able to help as they'll be in a meeting. Not too worried about this..
Thursday - Dreaded call - I'm really not looknig forward to this - What if it is exactly the same as last time? What then? Dealing with it won't be good....dependent on this call with be:

• No fertilised eggs again - Over - No more - Baby never to be
• Back to clinic for embryo transfer if only 1
• More than 1, back Friday or Sat for for embryo transfer. Not certain how they deal with the weekend as if same as last time that would be Saturday...
• 2 weeks after embryo Transfer - Period or test

I don't want to think further than Thursday to be honest - Thursday is going to be an awful day...

IVF2 : Fridays Scan..

Well everything going well so far though egg collection has been moved from Monday to Wednesday, I assume to let some of the smaller ones catch up. The nurse was pleased that was the main thing. Some of the bigger follicles were 16mm.

This photo shows a few of my follicles but they can't capture all of them.

IVF2 : Donor Choice

DONOR CODE canning 1
Ethnic Group Caucasian – British
Blood Group A Positive
Eye Colour Blue
Hair Colour Dark Brown
Height 1.81m (Just under 6ft)
Build Medium
Skin colour Light/Fair
Religion Church of England
Occupation Recently left the Navy
Education NVQ x2
Interests History, walking, football, cycling
Donors Pen Sketch (can be given to the mother once a baby has been born as a result of using this donor sperm) Yes
Proven fertility Yes
Length of storage consent (yrs) 10 years
HFEA Registration Number *
Any limitations stipulated by the donor. Discard after death
Is this donor homosexual? No

DONOR CODE CANNING 2
Ethnic Group Caucasian - British
Blood Group O Negative
Eye Colour Blue
Hair Colour Light Brown
Height 5’10”
Build Medium
Skin colour Fair
Religion None
Occupation Tele marketing
Education Secondary Education
Interests Music, sports, socializing
Donors Pen Sketch (can be given to the mother once a baby has been born as a result of using this donor sperm) No
Proven fertility No
Length of storage consent (yrs) 10years
HFEA Registration Number *
Any limitations stipulated by the donor. *
Is this donor homosexual? No

IVF2 : 2nd follicle scan

Appointment 1.45pm.

I actually like Janet Brown the scanning lady now... not because she did anything special but I've got used to her.

My lining is good.

I still have 9 follicles growing! Well that is a real relief after last time... growing slowly but the nurse said this is better...

Next scan Friday.

Egg Retrieval probably Monday!

IVF2 : First follicle scan

1.30pm appointment today.

Had 4 days of 400iu of Puregon, also start second injection this evening, though forgot to ask how far apart these needed to be in time.

As for scan - Better result than when I started last cycle.

Left ovary - 2 follicles started (last cycle 1st scan there were 0)
Right ovary - 7 follicles started(last cycle 1st scan there were 3)

Think they were measuring about 1cm....(last time 11-12mm so about the same)

Wednesday appointment - 1.45pm
Friday appointment - 9am

Clinic Bill / Drugs to start

IVF - Single Cycle £2750.00
HFEA FEE - IVF £104.50
Donor Sperm & Prep £400.00
Total £3254.50

Finally ordered from Boots online. Boots online was nearly £500 cheaper than the store - How scary is that - It was also over £300 cheaper than clinic. I still might need extra but at least I saved some - £300 is the sunny holidayI've been looking at in Corfu!

Puregon £1366.47
Orgalutron £187.45

I've got to still buy pregynl but still got rest in fridge from last incomplete cycle.

CD2 : Clinic Visit

As AF here properly now rang clinic. It ws a bit of a shock when they asked me to get in today as well! Friday was a bit difficult as morning off and meeting in the aternoon, but I thought they'd want me in tomorrow.

So...yet another internal scan - To make certain I have no cysts from the last cycle. All good.

Went and saw the nurse to see what happens now.....so..

CD3 - Thu - 17th - 400iu Puregon (pm)
CD4 - Fri - 18th - 400iu Puregon (pm)
CD5 - Sat - 19th - 400iu Puregon (pm)
CD6 - Sun - 20th - 400iu Puregon (pm)
CD7 - Mon - 21st - 400iu Puregon (pm)- SCAN 1.30pm - Orgalutran injection 0.25mg
CD8 - Tue - 22nd - 400iu Puregon (pm)- Orgalutran injection 0.25mg
CD9 - Wed - 23rd - 400iu Puregon (pm)- SCAN TBC - Orgalutran injection 0.25mg
CD10 - Thu - 24th - 400iu Puregon (pm)- Orgalutran injection 0.25mg
CD11 - Fri - 25th - SCAN TBC - Orgalutran injection 0.25mg
CD12 - Sat - 26th - Orgalutran injection 0.25mg
CD13 - Sun - 27th - Orgalutran injection 0.25mg
CD14 - Mon - 28 - SCAN or Egg collection

That is ABOUT right - It gets all flaky dependng on whether my follicles want to play ball or not!

Is this AF or not???

Well...humm...think my period is here...or is it? Very light...not convinced at the moment. At present have avoided ringing the clinic..I know it sounds stupid but I've had this cold and cough and I suppose I don't have much positivity about the whole thing...drug are going to be over £1500.

Information on Drugs - Orgalutran® (ganirelix)

Orgalutran® is an innovative new product that reduces the time patients will be treated in IVF (in vitro fertilization) from 4 weeks to less than 2 weeks. As a result, patients given Orgalutran in the drug phase of their IVF program will have a much simpler procedure. Their exposure to drugs is reduced, as are the physical and emotional burdens associated with IVF treatment.

Shorter treatment duration makes treatment more convenient

Orgalutran prevents the premature rise in levels of a hormone called luteinizing hormone (LH), during specific infertility treatments such as IVF and ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection). During stimulation of the growth of multiple follicles with gonadotropins such as follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH), a rise in LH at too early a time may have unfavorable effects on the eggs and the possibility of getting pregnant.

Two types of treatment regimens are being used to avoid an early rise in LH: Gn-RH-agonists and Gn-RH-antagonists (Gn-RH being gonadotropin-releasing hormone). Orgalutran is a Gn-RH-antagonist that has the ability to instantaneously shut down the body’s own hormone activity. It achieves immediately what Gn-RH-agonists can take 2-3 weeks to do, and is therefore only required during the final days of stimulation.

Information on Drugs - Puregon® (follitropin beta)

Puregon®, recombinant follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH), is a pure gonadotropin widely used to treat infertility. The product was launched by Organon in 1996, the culmination of a 12-year research and development program.
Easy-to-use, flexible treatment of infertility with the Puregon Pen®, allowing tailored dosing

In women a course of Puregon treatment will stimulate the development of follicles in the ovary. Prior to IVF (in vitro fertilization), the ovaries are stimulated by Puregon so that several follicles develop to produce eggs. These can then be collected for fertilization in the laboratory. In infertile men a course of Puregon is indicated to create sperm cells and/or increase their number.

Puregon is available in various presentation forms, including vials, ampoules, and cartridges to use with a pen device. It can be administered at home, or in clinics by a nurse or doctor.